Why My Cat Thinks She's the CEO of the House (And I'm Just Her Assistant)

If you’ve ever shared your home with a cat, you know the feeling: they act as if they’re the undisputed ruler, and you’re just a humble servant. My cat, in particular, has taken this concept to an entirely new level. She has officially adopted the role of CEO of the household, and I, well, I’m merely her assistant.

First of all, let’s talk about the "office hours." She’s awake at all hours, demanding attention at precisely the wrong moments. At 3 AM, when I’m deep in my sleep, she’s pacing around the room, issuing commands in the form of loud meows. Does she want food? A lap to sit on? Or just to remind me who’s in charge? It doesn’t matter; I’m expected to drop everything and cater to her needs. She’s got the whole “work hard, nap harder” mentality—except her version of "work" is making sure I don’t forget my place.

Her workspace is, of course, the entire house. From the top of the couch to the kitchen counter, every surface is her domain. No area is off-limits, and she takes full advantage of her executive status by lounging wherever she pleases. And don't get me started on her meetings. She holds regular “conference calls” (i.e., intense staring sessions) where she discusses important matters like the state of the water bowl or the optimal placement of her favorite blanket.

The most humorous part? She has a strict hierarchy. I’m not allowed to eat without her approval. I’m expected to drop what I’m doing and provide instant service, whether it’s refilling her food dish or providing the perfect lap for a cat nap.

I’ve come to accept my role as her assistant. After all, what else can you do when the CEO of the house has a strong sense of entitlement—and an even stronger set of paws?